Do you ever say to yourself:

When I have this sorted, I’ll do that.

When my partner starts bringing me flowers at least once a week, I’ll know for sure he really loves me.

When I’ve worked for this company for at least 3 years, I’ll be able to get a promotion to the role I really want.

When I have R1 million, maybe I can start my own business.

I call this the lotto mentality. If I win the lottery all my problems will be solved. Well – no actually. And while diving a little more into this thought concept, I also discovered that 70% of people that do win the lottery are bankrupt within 7 years. Isn’t that telling…

A very dear friend of mine said something so interesting to me a few weeks back, and I’ve been playing it over and over in my head.

If you’re not good enough without it, you won’t be good enough with it.

He was specifically referring to earning potential and progressing up the corporate ladder. But for me that is less relevant. This statement applies to so much more. It has almost become a daily mantra for me now.

That being said, disclaimer alert:

It needs to be cloistered in kindness, care, gentleness and sans value-judgement. By no means am I advocating you running around telling everyone, and most importantly not yourself, well shit, if you can’t make it without it, harden the @#$% up and make it happen.

No. Rather – in the softest, sweetest voice possible, I’d like to ask you – why are you waiting?

Spoiler alert. Everything you need is within. And the only thing that is holding you back is you.

So maybe you win R1million. Maybe R16 million?! And then – you’ll be happy?

But what if you never win the lottery? What if your reality remains as it currently is – reality. Are you destined to never realise your dreams?

What’s really holding you back is fear. I know, because I’ve been the victim of my own fear many times over.

As soon as I’ve read this post 10000 times I’ll post it. Mother of pearl if I make a spelling error or worse…a grammar error. People will then know I should not be writing a blog and wonder how I ever made it as a lawyer. Oh wait I didn’t make it as a lawyer? Oh my god – how did I leave my law job. My entire validation and self-worth is up the creek.

Actually, what I eventually realized, while desperately trying to be something that I wasn’t passionate about, is that my self-worth has to come 1000% from within. Not from my boss. Not from my husband. Not from my parents. The alternative, which so many of us unconsciously adhere to, is that our self-worth is pinned to others expectations and realisations of who we are and what purpose we serve.

And unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you view the world. The only way to overcome fear is to embrace it. Sit with it. Understand it. Get messy with it. And then take a big dose of courage and do the thing you keep making excuses about. Sounds thrilling doesn’t it.

Or you could just keep on doing what you’re doing. How’s that working out for you?

Let me know. x